After one year of marriage I’ve come to the heartbreaking realization that society reeaally has a deep rooted issue with young, married folk. The enemy has waged war on young people. But being young and married, I feel especially under attack.
Not only am I defending and fighting for my marriage in a world where the ‘50% of marriages end in divorce’ statistic is a reality but a society where I’ve actually made people feel uncomfortable after I’ve responded to their question of “Oh! You’re married? You’re SO YOUNG.’ It is so incredible what that remark does in a heart of a 21-year old. It reaks absolute havoc and has made me the most insecure that I have ever been. Just where the enemy wants me.
Fortunately, just as my Heavenly Father always does, it’s turned into something beautiful by reminding me that he is for marriage. I have no crazy revelation just a reminder. He is team Justin & Caitlin. The Creator of the Universe believes in my marriage and that trumps the sweet old lady at the supermarket who reminded me of how young I was. I have to daily choose to remember that because it is so easy to get caught up in what society says you deserve/want/need.
I feel empowered to make Jesus known through my marriage – to build a Godly relationship that will stand against the strongest of this life’s storms. Not by being loud and obnoxious or standing in front of buildings with picket signs. Take the slim pickin’, hard to come by good advice, toss out all the rest of the junk. I still feel insecure. I don’t think that will go away, maybe it will in time but I know that right now, that’s where I need to be. I need to rejoice in this place because this is where God meets me, where I am forced to lean on Him to make Him known. To fight for marriage without being loud or disrespectful. To seek wisdom. We can’t change our current situation or the society we live in or what the society says about our current situation but we can change us and our attitudes and who we are in this society. We can love those who persecute us as Jesus did, as we are commanded to do. “But I tell you, love your enemies and PRAY FOR those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44). Our Heavenly Father, He CAN transform this divorce-ridden society. He can use us to aid in that if we would just tune our ears to hear Him.
To the enemy: you cannot have my marriage. You can not use the current rotting situation of this society I live in to roll me up in an insecure ball and make me give in.
To all my dear friends who are young and married: you are brave. That’s not something that I would have said last year this time. I would not have said marriage takes a brave soul. My gosh, it does. The bravest of souls. Thankfully this is the truth: you CAN DO THIS. This current situation is so temporary. You are demonstrating something so eternal in having a successful marriage at a any age but specifically here at a young age. This situation you’re in is a blessing. Jesus is for YOU. Jesus is for your marriage.
To those who are uncomfortable with young people being married or think we’ll fail: I beg you to think about how you speak into their lives before you say a word leaves your tongue. Can you maybe replace that terrible question up there with “you are brave”? You have no idea the life you can give or the havoc you can reak with a simply comment. Choose encouragement. Empower young people with wisdom not criticism.
After year one, I know that marriage is going to be the most difficult thing I am ever going to do. That it is going to take haaard work. That it’s going to bring me to my knees over and over. That it’s going to leave me vulnerable and exposed. But, it has brought me and will continue to bring me closer to my Heavenly Father than I could have ever have imagined. In the most beautiful way. I am forever grateful and so undeserving of the Godly, loving, and faithful man that The Lord gave me. Society doesn’t yet see it, but he is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I am so madly in love with my husband and what our marriage stands for.
I’m young, I know. I don’t know much about a lot. I’ve got A LOT to learn. But, heres my tidbit on marriage and what I hope my community holds me accountable to: Guard your marriage. Let all the insecurities that this world fills you with fuel you and challenge you to build a healthy, strong, marriage until death. do. y’all. part. The enemy does wants to tear your marriage apart. He wants it to crumble. And he’ll use everything he has to take it from you. But he CAN NOT HAVE IT.